so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
