Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
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