I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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