Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
