So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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