He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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