Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I need to stop coming to work sober
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
