you guys were way drunker than both of me
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize