Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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