She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
