i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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