her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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