the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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