So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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