I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
