Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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