Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
