he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
