his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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