The brown eye won't let me do that either.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
