im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
