Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
