yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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