I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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