This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
