Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
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