You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
