talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Randomize