Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
