please come you make the beer taste better
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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