I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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