Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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