white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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