I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
