We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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