My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
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It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
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So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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