i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize