Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
