I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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