Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
