So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize