so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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