why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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