idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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