Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Sober January is a disaster.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Randomize
