we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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