he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
birth control should be required to get into college
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Randomize
