When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
