the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
