Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
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I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
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She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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