Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
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