I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Randomize
