I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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