she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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