i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Randomize
